Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

One of the most common things I hear when I tell people we are foster parents is that they could never do it. I get where this comment is coming from, I really do, but it hurts me sometimes. It makes me wonder if people see me as cold or emotionless because we love our kids...and let them go.

This is far from the truth.

When Baby K left us so suddenly in April, I felt like my heart was being torn out...my chest ached and I couldn't catch my breath. As we grieved, more than one person said, "Oh, that is why I could never be a foster parent. I would get way too attached." or "You're so strong."

Let me tell you something. I got attached (there's no such thing as "too" attached, by the way). I got my heart broken, but I survived. I'm not heartless. I'm no stronger than the average person. I throw all of my love into my kids and yes it makes me sad when they move on...but that's okay.

I cannot handle the alternative...avoiding the pain of loss but knowing I'm turning my back on thousands of foster kids who need someone to love them.

If I had known of the pain I would feel at Baby K's loss, I would still do this all over again. Why? Foster care isn't about me. It's not about my husband or my marriage or our happiness. It's about showing these babies what they deserve: safety, nourishment, warmth, and love.

I hope that all who read this hear my heart, and do not take this as accusatory or think I'm upset. Please know that's not my intention.

But hey, if you feel a tug toward foster care, let it pull you. I get emails every single day with 20+ kids sitting in offices waiting for homes in King County alone. Allow yourself to love these kiddos and grieve for them when they go...they deserve it.